Another from the vault.

Things I didn't say to customers because it would only land me in a bigger pile of foul-smelling things volume ten million:

Dear Lady,

Hi, remember me? I'm the one you yelled at to work faster while you ordered 18 FUCKING sheets of photos and got 5 phone calls from your, darling I'm sure, children. This was, in case you were wondering, while my manager was on an HOUR lunch break and on one of the busiest days that we've had.

It make come as a surprise to you, but I'm not god. When the computers fucking crash and I loose your entire order, I can't snap my fingers and make it reappear. It was your decision to leave and let me re-add the photos and I'm real, real sorry that it didn't come out right but you got a bunch of free shit so if you'd just bugger off so I can start pretending that I never met you or that you don't exist, that'd be great.

Love,
Toni