On Lube.

In an effort to stave off madness and the Crazy Cat Lady Syndrome (I'm definitely in a high-risk category for that) I took my sorry butt out of the house to enjoy the splendours of the great outdoors. Or a four lane street and a mall. Whatever, there were trees.

I made my way over to the local Shopper's Drugmart. Many a glorious hour have I spent there making fun of make-up and the vast array of moisturizers with the roommates. Turns out that Shopper's isn't nearly as much fun when you're depressed and alone. Surprising.

I amused myself by perusing the "intimate" area of the store. Was particularly struck by the Personal Lubricant section. There was every single kind of lube you could wish for. God Bless you Capitalism! First you've got your flavoured lubes, my favourites were Passion Fruit (how apropos) and Strawberry Cheesecake. Gotta say, the Strawberry Cheesecake seems slightly unsexier than Passion Fruit but I guess there's no such thing as Strawberry Sexcake. Either that or Strawberry Sexcake tastes horrible.

Then you've got the lubes that make the big promises. There's the lube that'll make men last longer, the tingly lube that adds to your pleasure and the warming lube. I, personally, don't understand how lube can do all that, but that's probably why I'm not getting paid the big bucks.

So the next time you're looking for to give a gift to that special someone, forget the fruit basket, forget the wine and cheese basket. Make it a Lube Basket and you won't regret it!