Mood Music

At work the phones throughout the building are rigged up so that we can have them tuned to a radio station or a CD playing in the room behind the front desk. Usually we have an oldies station on. Fairly unobjectionable. My father used to listen to oldies exclusively before he took a walk on the wild side with our local easy listening station, so I grew up on the good stuff.

But today, for some reason, the woman in charge of keeping our ANCIENT computers/computer system running came down and put a CD on. It was called Songs of the Millennium and left me with a few questions.

1) Who owns a CD of muzak?
2) Who designated muzak songs as songs of the Millennium?
3) Why would you subject me to that for eight straight hours?

And I couldn't help but notice the similarity between this particular CD of muzak and the soundtrack to every single soft core porn sex scene I've ever seen. It's uncanny! Take it from someone who knows. At a few points during the day, according to the music, my fellow front-desker and I should've taken all our clothes off and got freaky with the maintenance staff in anatomically-improbable positions.

That is not what I signed up for.