'I only care for a strip of hair'

So I was writing a cover letter, because that's all I do now, and complaining about it, because that's all I do when I'm not writing a cover letter. Sexy! And I sent a finished product over to Jo for editing. After an inordinate amount of time passed, during which I wondered what exactly I'd done so poorly, I received a response. I was applying at a place with Mohawk in the name. Jo took that to mean that I was applying to get a mohawk. And she ran with it, writing me a cover letter for just that purpose. I've included a highlight to tickle your eyeballs:

"I am a firm believer that the sides of one’s head were not meant to be covered, but flaunted, and dare I say it, loved. My motto is ‘I only care for a strip of hair’, and I live by that motto; and if given the chance, I will die by that motto. Aside from my education, I have first hand work experience with Mohawks. While I worked at Hothorpe Hall in England, I once saw an individual with a Mohawk. I did not speak to him, but I did observe him from afar. I feel my time hiding in that small bush gave me a better understanding of the intricacies of the hawk."