Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Tucker Carlson and Ann Coulter need a good boot to the face.

http://mediamatters.org/items/200412010011

To wit:

Carlson:
-"Without the U.S., Canada is essentially Honduras, but colder and much less interesting"
-"the average Canadian is busy dogsledding."
-"Canada's essentially a made-in-Taiwan version of the United States."
-And on Crossfire, Carlson referred to the "limpid, flaccid nature of Canadian society."

Coulter: "They better hope the United States doesn't roll over one night and crush them. They are lucky we allow them to exist on the same continent."

HOW DO THESE PEOPLE GET ON TV?

Can you be a communist and facist at the same time?

There are some people that seem to operate without any conscious idea of how they represent themselves in public. I know, to a certain extent, we all have warped pictures of ourselves but there is one guy in my Poverty and Policy class that seems to have no self-awareness at all.

We were having our end of semester, what have you learned, continuity and change class and in our discussion our profession wanted us to offer some solutions to poverty. Random Guy had one. He proposed that everyone receive money based on what they were worth.

A loaded statement if ever there was one.

He went on to explain how his plan would evaluate people based on their societal inputs and outputs based on some sort of caloric/moral index. It was some sort of colletivistic-based plan that everyone would have to participate in and when asked how he planned to get people to do it he said it was based on discipline. A non-answer. When pressed further he said, "In the beginning it would be based on fear." Well that's what we're looking for in a solution to one of societies most pressing problems. Fear and intimidation. There isn't already enough of that around.

Later in our discussion we were talking about infant mortality rates, he basically said that poor people shouldn't have children. My professor, born in central Europe immediately after World War II was over pointed out that if poor people hadn't had children, she wouldn't be around.

The point is this: was this guy not thinking when he said these things? Could he not imagine how his proposals sounded? He never seemed embarassed, even when the class was in an uproar he seemed unfazed, defending his plan.

I always admire people with conviction but this guy just proves that having the courage of your convictions means very little if you're crazy.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Sexy Multicultural Club...founding member.

We are hot. You know it's true.

Posted by Picasa

I love you Dan Savage

"As I mentioned a few months ago, a vaccine for two of strains of HPV, the virus that causes genital warts, is currently moving through the federal approval process. HPV can also cause cervical cancer in women, killing 4,000 American women every year. Who could possibly be against the introduction of a vaccine—one that has proven 100 percent effective in clinical tests!—that will save thousands of women's lives? Those "culture of life" assfucks, that's who.

A new vaccine that protects against cervical cancer has set up a clash between health advocates [and] social conservatives who say immunizing teenagers could encourage sexual activity," the Washington Post reported last week. Doctors want teenage girls to receive the vaccine as a matter of routine, something the religious right opposes. "Because the vaccine protects against a sexually transmitted virus, many conservatives oppose making it mandatory, citing fears that it could send a subtle message condoning sexual activity before marriage... 'I've talked to some who have said, "This is going to sabotage our abstinence message,"' said Gene Rudd, associate executive director of the Christian Medical and Dental Associations." (To his credit, Rudd said he would want his daughters vaccinated.)

The right's abstinence message has bigger problems than this vaccine. Studies have shown that young people are still having premarital sex—no shit—despite the billions of dollars the Bush administration has poured into abstinence education. A study conducted at Texas A&M University found that kids subjected to abstinence-only sex education have more sex than kids who aren't. So what the right is saying is this: We're willing to kill American women in order to avoid "sabotaging" our ineffectual abstinence-only message. Nice.

I've said it before, straight folks, and I'll say it again: The right-wingers and the fundies and the sex-phobes don't just have it in for the queers. They're coming for your asses too."

from Savage Love.

He could be my gay boyfriend if he wanted to. Except that he does not live in crummy Guelph.

Toni, tell me more about that Science-Fi.

You scored as Serenity (from Firefly). You like to live your own way and do not enjoy when anyone but a friend tries to tell you that you should do different. Now if only the Reavers would quit trying to skin you.


Coming on December 1, 2005:

Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? The Sequel

Serenity (from Firefly)


81%

Moya (from Farscape)


75%

Nebuchadnezzar (from The Matrix)


75%

Galactica (from Battlestar: Galactica)


75%

Millennium Falcon (from Star Wars)


69%

SG-1 (from Stargate)


63%

Bebop (from Cowboy Bebop)


56%

Enterprise D (from Star Trek)


44%

Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics)
created with QuizFarm.com



So Jo is constantly making fun of me and Barb. She says that we'll watch anything as long as it is set in space. Usually I try to wrassle her into submission but she's not entirely wrong. Especially because, looking at the shows/movies on this list, I've watched a little bit of all of them except for Cowboy Bebop.

Don't push and shove, there's plenty Toni Groin Time to go around.



No my LAST paper isn't done yet, thank you for asking.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Jo the artiste.

















Jo makes magic with Paint. This masterpiece was based on a dream Jo had where she kept coming to me for advice and I was always in a pool with a cocktail.

I recently promised to support her financially if she made paint pictures for me for the rest of my life.

I regret nothing. Posted by Picasa

I give it an hour before we're doing the no-pants dance.

So I lost my mind a little bit yesterday. It was one of those days where you really test everyone's patience for someone who is clearly a little bit manic. Luckily for me, my roommates are awesome and full of hugs and make-up fixing and commiseration.

For some reason we were ready incredibly early last night. I think we all started getting ready early 1) Avoid work and/or 2) because we were excessively excited about altering our state of consciousness. What? I thought that was pretty poetic...okay, we wanted to get drunk/stoned out of our minds because this week? and the week before that? and the one before that? Yeah, they blew.

For some reason there was a lot of bra flashing before we left the house. I think it was Jo's fault but that doesn't mean that I didn't participate enthusiastically. There is pictorial evidence. It will NOT be posted on this blog.

I got drunk super-fast. Three martinis at the e-bar (one of which was supposed to be Jo's) and I was ready to proclaim my love for all mankind. Loudly. I almost told the doorman at the e-bar that he was doing a great job on our way out.

The cute boys were out en masse at the e-bar. The bartender (who I nearly poured my 2nd and 3rd martinis all over. What? I'm not graceful when I'm sober, what do you expect when I've been drinking?) was quite tasty. And there was some guy with glasses....mmmmm.

Much less cuteness at the Albion. Two old men were getting down with their bad selves on the dancefloor. I know I should be all 'good for them' but really, I just couldn't get over the fact that they were old.

Packing Snow.

We have decided that all that white stuff on the ground? Yeah, it's packing snow. Sitting here in my polar bear PJ's I really wish we were six again. We'd go outside dressed in our snowsuits and scarves and hats and gloves so stuffed with winter clothes that we're basically plush toys. We'd play outside until our faces were red and someone would be waiting for us inside with hot chocolate and cookies and big blankets.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

What good are big boobs if no one wants to touch 'em? Feel free to ignore this entirely.

Actually several people have expressed a desire to Touch the Boobs but I'm certain it was all in jest. Stupid jest.

I started listening to Christmas early this year. Ridiculously early actually, I think I downloaded something by Il Divo in October. Shut up. And I'm sitting here listening to it in my robe and I can't help but think about all the things I wish were different. Yes Christmas music can make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside but it is also incredibly depressing. Oh Bing, I'm dreaming of a White Christmas too.

What if I were smarter? Like undeniably brilliant. 'Cause I'm not about to start walking into walls (actually, I've already done that) or leaving all my shoes untied but I'm no Einstein. I'm not the even the Einstein of history and I can name about six people in ONE class that are at least 3 times smarter than I am. Perhaps if I were smarter some gorgeous, British professor with big blue eyes and a PhD from FRIGGEN OXFORD would be interested in the Tonebank. He actually exists and he really is beautiful and similarly inclined politically (to myself) and he must be well read because I've never met an academic who didn't like books. I had him for History 1010 and made him laugh one time. Then I went to his office and cried when I asked for an extension because I hadn't slept at all the night before and had to go home for a funeral. Even the fantasy was ruined after that.

As it stands I'm going to go home for Christmas and STILL be the ugly cousin with no significant other and I'm not even outstanding in the brain department anymore. Stupid mediocrity.

I'm lonely and school sucks and I'm not sure which came first or if they are simply two vortexs of doom that are feeding off of each other.

Maybe I'll listening to some Kanye West. I think something is definitely off when rhyming about black oppression is more uplifting than Silent Night.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

A Stye no longer.

Toni has a big drink. Toni likes vodka. Toni will no longer refer to herself in the third person.

Closing Night was amazing, everything went off without a hitch and the building was absolutely packed.

I got very drunk very quickly afterwards and made an ass out of myself.

The play is over, the party is over. This means three very sad things. 1- they will no longer let me touch the lighting board in Massey. 2-I will have NO excuse to put off the piles and piles of things that are due over the next two weeks. 3- I won't be able to molest the Stye cast on a regular basis. Boo. Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Opening Night

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

All right, enough of that. Opening night went deliciously for the following reasons:

1- I had a walkie talkie
2- We (Jowie, Subu and I) looked hot, I can't lie.
3-The back drops we worked on FOREVER worked like gangbusters.
4-Jamie gave me the nickname 'Tigercat' for our important stage manager business. Or for calling each other names.
5-Our cast did EXCELLENTLY and people were laughing.
6-I had a walkie talkie.
7- THE BACKDROPS STAY AT SCHOOL NOW...no more lugging that shit.
8- Lindz gave me a free drink at Second Cup and is currently making me giggle.

I'm both sleepy and well-caffeinated and still kind of high on life.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Toni unleashed.

Do I look stern and forbidding? I'm worried that anytime I'm not smiling I look unapproachable. Would you approach this face?

Note the messy hair and semi-crazy eyes.

Barb let me borrow his digital camera, you can direct your complaints to him. Posted by Picasa

I'm so primordial.

You know the routine...work to do, blah blah, don't want to, blah blah, blogging instead, blah blah.

Also helping me avoid my overdue bookreview? A Miss Jo. She makes me laugh.

To wit:

Jowie: i didn't even notice
Jowie: i just wrote knotice
Jowie:hot
Toni- ahahahahahaha...in primordial english i'm CERTAIN there was a silent k before notice
Jowie: YES i'm tottally primoridal
Toni-and primordial actually means awesome....so in conclusion Awesome English is chockfull of silent k's and you are awesome
Jowie: that's so ultra primordial
Toni- i pontify that you are correct sir
Jowie: I've kurmudgenate that you are correct in your initial pontification
Jowie:kurmudgenated rather
Jowie: how silly of me
Toni-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

Bon Voyage Hammy 2003-2005

A tribute.

Truly you were the greatest hamster I have ever known. You ate just about everything we ever gave you, like strawberries and marshmallows and the flower in that picture. You were warm and furry and survived the Great Rodent Die Off of earlier this summer.

Hammy Hammington III I salute you. Posted by Picasa

Friday, November 04, 2005

You know you live in a student house when....

You find no clean cups for coffee and you're left with the choice between a wineglass and a huge glass measuring cup.

I chose the measuring cup.

Awesomeness thy name is Toni.

Now I must continue getting ready for I am off to see Lana Turner has Collapsed this evening with Barb and Lindz.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

The Negaverse

I have been conducting some informal research into the negaverse and have come up with the following conclusions:

Did you know that in the negaverse I would be excessively rich? Also, Jo wouldn't love drugs. Someone would pay me to go to school and I would be well sexed. I would be the hottest girl around and my hair would be shiny and manageable and I'd have time to build that time machine I've been promising Jo for so long. Of course I'd also be stupid and unfunny.

But I would be well sexed.

Jo would like me to tell you that she hypothesizes that crap would go back up your butt. Perhaps the one drawback of the Negaverse.

I love Stoned Barb

Stoned Barb's message on our whiteboard:
Toni, you have twenty four hours to find the jade scorpion.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

There are a thousand things I should be doing and I don't want to do anything but read funny things on the internet. My room is a stye and so is the entire house and I think it closely resembles the inside of my head right now.

"Your play was pretentious and you were unconvincing as a nun."

I've mentioned that I'm stage managing a play for Jo right? Well, I am. So we totally had our first night of tech tonight, programming lights and sound cues and all that fun stuff and I was TOTALLY freaking out (mostly inside my head, but not entirely).

I have absolutely no experience in theatre stuff and I REALLY didn't want Jo to regret having me as her stage manager. Not for that anyway. Gross incompetence as a human being, fine, but I didn't want to screw up the tech.

It went quite well. Jo had really simple light cues planned, so simple that any primate could've handled them. And I'm nothing if not a primate.

There's this one guy coordinating tech for all 6 shows (three run Mon, Wed and Fri and ours run Tues, Thurs and Sat) and he is Professionally irritating. Sometimes he seems reasonably competent and friendly and then other times it seems as if he doesn't think at all.

Oh well, I'm super excited for the actual performance. I think our cast is going to rock but I'm also looking forward to the show simply being over. I want to take back my brain. Bits and pieces of dialogue from the play or props that we still have to get or backdrops that we still have to paint are floating around my brain ALL THE TIME. I've never been so consumed with a project.

How are academics you ask? Well, they're not going so brilliantly. Can't force myself to care right now.