I'm an Alumni now. Toni Bank: B.A.H.

It's true, I have a card to prove it. After we went onstage to talk to Lincoln Alexander, the raddest dude ever, we went on this big long circuit where we officially got our degrees, shook hands with people, took HORRIBLE pictures of us holding a University of Guelph clipboard dealy that was apparently supposed to represent our degree and received a card from Alumni services.

We've been trying to figure out what we can do with our alumni cards. We're going to use it as a police badge, so we can get our way into all the cool crime scenes.

"Sorry Ma'am, this is a police matter, I'm going to have to ask you to go stand behind the yellow tape." I take out my Guelph Alumni card, flash it at him. "Oh! I didn't realize you were an Alumni. That changes everything. If you're not too busy, we could use some help solving this important case sure to bring you fame and fortune and beautiful men by the fistful."
"I guess I can make time in my busy schedule, but someday you guys are going to have to learn how to solve crimes without me."

Other potential uses:
-replace a debit card when you have no money in the bank or when you left your wallet at home and need money for strippers (you didn't know they take plastic now?)
-jimmy open stubborn doors when you don't have your keys/are breaking into shit
-use it like a VIP pass at concerts, so you can harass the band and convince them that they should take you on the road with them

After convocation there was the obligatory debauchery. I drank stuff, I smoked stuff, I was massively hungover the next day. Am currently debating the relative merits of posting before and after pictures from convocation and the aftermath versus not exposing myself to scorn and ridicule.

Still in Mississauga. Who knows when I'll be home again.