You're waving that stick around like it's not on fire!

If you know Barb, you know that he is the epitome of a manly outdoorsman. He spits on modern technology like computers and video games and flushable toilets and frozen pizzas. Hardly surprising then that, while I was staying at his house, Barb promised me the manliest of fires.

I demanded smores.

Luckily we were joined by the sexiest of companions, 'Manda and Jowie.

The following is a step by step guide to the building and enjoyment of campfires and their by-products. Produced by the same people that brought you A Step by Step Guide to Building Forts.

Step 1: Get Magic Sombrero. Pass around. Practice different emotions. See previous post.

Step 2: Find a cereal box, Life works best, and some piles of wood. Pile. Light.

Step 3:Fan fire with your Magic Sombrero. Spread smoke liberally.

Step 4: Watch your fire. Shoot the shit. Poke at it like you know what you're doing. This is also an opportunity for you to sing Disney songs 'round the fire. We chose Colours of the Wind from Pocahontas.

Step 5: Nourishment. You've been working hard. Time to relax. If you're lucky your marshmallows will not be one solid mass. We were not lucky.

But we persevered.

Step 6: Make sure you get marshmallow goo everywhere. Even on your digital camera. Don't worry, your fingers won't look like they're covered in extra sticky semen at first glance.

Eventually you should probably put out the fire. Unless you prefer your neighbours crispy.

Repeat as necessary.